Failure to Self-Flagellate

How I wish I could convince myself that I'm not good enough for this. The evidence is inconclusive, particularly considering the difficulty of finding an unbiased source of information. If I could only stop absorbing the blows of disappointment and let them knock me down for once, maybe I could leave the part of me behind that insists on squeezing blood from a stone. Or if I could produce one crowning achievement that I could look back fondly on in the dark times. As it is, I'm so conflicted I'm starting to worry that I'm incapable of letting go of what may already be gone.